So, lately I have a ho hum heart. I think it is hardened. I think that there have been so many areas that I have shut down - unknowingly, and unintentionally... but shut down none the less. I get angry when people speak truth about things that God has promised in my life. It is unbelief really. And unbelief is sin... I am apathetic in some ways, and then the fact that that really bothers me means that I am not totally apathetic... which would be to not care at all. I am ready to awaken my heart again. I am ready to have God take me by the shoulders and shake me a little... and yet, even typing that makes me shudder... literally. He desires to be desired. He desires that we put Him first in our hearts... in our soft and willing hearts. Praise Him for His grace and His glory. He is full of compassion and mercy - and of course - unfailing love.
Things are rockin around here. We can't keep from being busy. We have had trips out of town almost every week, or family coming in... we have boxed up boxes in case we move... we have looked at land... and so many other things I can't list them all... including two birthday parties- sheeesh! I am tired thinking about it all...
So, anyways (I say that with my best Nacho Libre accent), Jude is almost 8 months old. Jake turned 11 today... Maddy just turned 8 last month and my Jared turned 6 the month before that! My kids are great! I have loved having them this summer... I am approaching the school year with mixed emotions. I am excited for them... and in ways for me... but I will be sad to send them back. I am certainly not "tired of them". Hopefully they aren't tired of me either. Ken is busy trying to catch up on the days he is here, and I am searching for a lady to help me clean... I can't tell you the difference it makes in EVERYTHING! Ken was wonderful to think of that for me for my birthday! What a gift!
Adoption things are still pending. We have three more papers to turn in essentially. I am hoping we will have all of that taken care of before the end of the month. Life is busy, and life is wonderful, and my heart is ho hum. Oh Lord, help. How is it that I have lost the fire in my heart? I know He will restore to me the joy of my salvation. I know He will move in ways I can't even imagine. I must have belief. I really must
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