Christian...

So, here is a picture of this precious baby that is shaking things up around here! What a cutie pie!

Whew!

Things have been moving at the speed of light around here! I feel like there is too much to tell... God is so good. That is a good place to begin. We have a house being built (just across the road) and a house for the interim (Praise the Lord for His provision - always!) We have great renters for our home of 8 years. We will officially (we think) make the move to the interim house in about 2 weeks and move to our new house in the middle of June! So, if you call and I don’t call back, or if you email and it takes a while to respond, know that it is not that I have forgotten you... I just am having a hard time staying connected to the people I live with, much less the people in “cyberspace”.

I am back at work full time. My heart aches and rejoices at the same time to say that. I have needed to step back in for a short time to prepare to sell the business. God did amazing things for us by giving us the business, and we feel like we should leave it in as good of condition as we found it. So, I rejoice to be obedient. But, I must be honest, my heart aches missing my babies each day. I cried when I thought they had come to visit me at the center and then realized it was another car that just looked like the car they would be in. Then I cried fifteen minutes later when they did pull up! They are so much of my heart. I know they are in wonderful hands. Our Miss Cole has been a breath of fresh air. It has changed the dynamic of our household tremendously to have her here - in a great way! I finally (almost) have enough hands to get everything done that needs to be done. I feel like the Lord’s timing was nothing short of a miracle for me. But, my heart - though desperate to be constantly filled with joy - has found this act of obedience to be one of the hardest ones ever. I see what it does to my boy to not have me around all day. I see what it does to my girl to only see her a few hours a day and it is almost more than my heart can take. And Christian, that is an entirely different story. I was barely getting to know him when I had to be pulled away from him for many hours each day. He needs to see me and know me as mom until Candice can be that for him. That is hard to do when I have such a small amount of time to divide between my husband and all 6 children. I am more tired than I have ever been in my life.

But, through all of these things... I can clearly see God’s hand. I see how He heard me when I asked Him - a little sad - on the way to work to find us a place to live because I didn’t have time. Twenty minutes later He had the whole thing worked out. I see how He heard me when I asked for help at the daycare to get things back in order - right under my nose were the answers I was waiting for. I see how He hears me when I ask Him to help my kiddos hang in there until I am able to “just” be mommy again.

My friends have experienced great losses recently. A dear friend of mine lost her brother. He was a daddy, an uncle, a brother, a son, a husband, and so much more... How do you hear of that and not long for eternity to come? I want to be desperate to help my friends see what they are missing if they are missing Jesus - and yet, the dailies get me every time. I get focused more on what has to be done today than I do focus on what things I do today that will make a mark for eternity. I saw a girls shirt that had a small girl with hands folded and it simply said, “Jesus, please come back.” I wanted to cry right then. Yes and Amen. Jesus - how we need you. How our friends and family need you. Reveal yourself Jesus. Reveal the way that you love us - give us eyes to see how you want abundance for us. I am saddened by the ways that we exchange the abundance Christ offers for the extremely temporary pleasures of today. Why would we exchange gold for dung? Would we really do that? Would we really take the beautiful, precious things that God has given to us and trade them for the foul smelling, rotting things that the world has to offer? The answer is that I do it every day, and I watch my friends do it without being able to find the words to convince them not to. Oh Jesus we need you to step in and help us. Spirit come move in our hearts to help us move toward the things that you desire and away from the things that will lead us to a temporary pleasure and an eternal regret.

Above all things I can tell you that God is faithful. His love never fails. His Word is Truth. His plan for me (and my family) is good. His Sovereignty doesn’t end. He is not caught off guard. He has asked me to work in everything as if I am working for Him. That is my desire. I want the Joy of the Lord to be my strength. I sure need His strength. Mine isn’t holding out. He has provided so well. He has heard me. How satisfying to walk in the place that He has marked out for me. Now to just give up the things that pull my heart away from the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. God help me to prioritize. Help me to rest in You. Help me to know you are hearing me and always acting in my best interest. Thank you for adopting me. Thank you for choosing me. That is a staggering thought, knowing that you KNEW me. You made me, and you chose me anyway. What kind of love is this?