Ordained

I am constantly amazed at the way I can see God’s hand all over my daughter’s life. Of course, He says it in His Word that He cares for us all this way, but it is so different... So visible to me in her life. We have prayed and prayed for her life to shout of His Glory. We have prayed that she will know her birth-mom, Candice. We have prayed that we could establish relationships with her biological family so that we can answer any question that she ever wants to know. I can’t explain with words how it feels to be her mom. She is my daughter. My beloved daughter. She is to me as much mine as Maddy (or any of my boys). There is no difference in the way we love her. She is our daughter. I don’t think people can understand this. God wrote her on our hearts long before she was born. The difference is, he brought her to earth through a precious lady named Candice. God grew our family far beyond what we ever knew He would. How precious that is to me.

This past week God proved Himself again to be the “ordainer of days”. He has surely ordained every step in Mia’s life. As I was showing a friend of mine a picture of Candice (and two of her sister’s), she said that Blair, Candice’s full sister looked familiar. I told her where I thought she knew her from and then, in an instant - everything changed. She asked me, “didn’t I just see her at the daycare?” My heart jumped. No, it couldn’t be... How could she have worked for us and we didn’t even know? But, surely, this beautiful girl that I have looked at every morning (in the picture) as I prayed for her was even at that moment working at the daycare. I was stunned. I was ready to run there on foot! I called Tiffany (our wonderful director) and asked if Blair was still at work. She said yes. I told Tiffany not to let her leave... I was on my way to come and talk to her. So many thoughts were racing through my mind.

Can you imagine? For over three months this precious, beautiful girl had been right beside us, and we didn’t even know. God had brought her to us. God had set her in that place for a bigger purpose than any of us knew. I knew that there was no way she could’ve known. So, I pulled her out of her class and asked her to sit down. Then, I told her, “My daughter, my baby girl is your neice.” She was trying to process it, and I cleared it up even more. “My baby girl is your sister, Candice’s baby.” The moment was priceless. It was one that I will treasure in my heart forever! We stood and talked - and of course, we went to see Mia (who was trying to fall asleep). Blair told me that she had just seen Candice and that she had asked her about “the baby”. Little did she know that she had been seeing “the baby” about three days a week for over three months! Wow. Let that really hit you. She had been seeing her, and keeping Jude - for months - yet she was praying and aching in her heart to know where she was and that she was okay. All the while none of us knew it. All the while God was letting us get to know Blair outside of her life as our daughter’s aunt. I taught her CPR. I talked to her, off and on for months before we knew. And in that moment, when it hit me, EVERYTHING changed.

She is a beautiful girl. That is one very funny part of the story. Tiffany and I had been talking about all of the girls at work, evaluating them, and when her name came up, I said, “Tell me again who she is.” And then, I answered my own question, “Oh, she is the girl that has a really beautiful face, and amazing eyes, right?” And Tiffany said yes. I already thought she was beautiful. But, she became in that instant much more beautiful to me.

I just wanted to stare at her. I see so much of Candice, so much of Mia in her face.. In her eyes. It is hard to explain (or understand) the love that is in my heart for Blair already. Of course, I have been praying for her for 9 months! But, I mean it. It is so weird, but I adore her. I would do anything for her. I can’t wait for Mia to be old enough to understand this story. God has just shown me over and over again how He has a plan for every day of my little girl’s life. For all of my babies, He has a plan, a BEAUTIFUL plan. It is no wonder that there was such warfare over this precious baby’s life. She will have a testimony that shouts to the world that there is a God. There is a loving, Creator that thinks the world of her. What an amazing story. How blessed we are to be a part of it. I am simply in awe of the beauty of my God.