Saturday, April 9, 2011

Praise is rising....

Oh the riches that are found in the Word of God!

As I sit here and meditate on all that He says and all that He has done, He has led me to these verses that capture the very essence of my heart over the last several months - or years... I am not even sure anymore.  Time has all lumped together in my heart.  There is everything that happened before yesterday... and then there is now...
This is the moment I am living in, so hear this... "Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.  You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you.  Each man's life is but a breath.... But now, Lord, what do I look for?  My hope is in you.  Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools.  I was silent; I would not open my mouth, for you are the one who has done this..."  Psalm 39:4-9

Yes, my precious Savior - show me.  My life is so fleeting.  May it not be in vain!!!  Let me bring you the praise that you deserve while I am here!! 

Psalm 40:1-11  "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.  Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.  Many, O Lord my God are the wonders you have done.  The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but my ears you have pierced burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require.  Then, I said "Here I am, I have come - it is written about me in the scroll.  I desire to do your will, O my God your law is within my heart.  I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, as you know O Lord.  I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.  I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.  Do not withold your mercy from me, O Lord, may your love and your truth always protect me. "

Yes!  He has rescued me from the muck and the mire indeed!  He has put a new song in my mouth. He has helped me to proclaim his Truth - I cannot seal my lips.  I must speak of His faithfulness and salvation!  Isn't His Word so amazing? 

I am so in love with Him.  I hope that you long to be in love with Him - He will give you that desire in your heart!  Ask Him - it is according to His will that you would really want to be consumed by Him and with love for Him.  Don't just sing about it on Sundays and think what neat lyrics they are!  Be consumed.  Allow Him to move you and say "yes, Lord - whatever you ask of me!"  He is worthy!  His so worthy! 

I am asking Him to grow us - as a family in holiness and in love for Him.  I know He will hear me and He will say yes to that!  I know He will!  It may be terribly uncomfortable.  It may be really hard, but one thing I know - He is worthy.
I am reminded of a song that I love, it says, "What joy, what joy for those whose hope is in the Name of the Lord. What peace, what peace for those whose confidence is Him alone!"  How true.  Never should I in my life be more fearful, or more devastated by my surroundings.  I lost my job - I lost my "good name" in the community.  We owe more money than we know what to do with.  We have no idea where it is coming from.  We are working our hearts out and we have nothing to show for it. We don't even know how we will pay the electricity this month.  All of this is just honest... but let me tell you this.  I have great peace.  I have no fear.  I have never had more confidence that the Lord loves me than I do right now.  Surely there are moments when I am thinking about it all and not looking at it from the right perspective.  I am seeing my problems and not my God.  But, here is the deal... I have a God that is greater and stronger.. a God that owns everything.  A God that knew that we would be here and we would have no answer but Him.  A God that knows exactly how this month, and this year will go.  A God that loves us more than we could ever love ourselves.  He is amazing.  He will not leave us stranded.  No matter what.  He has a way.  He will not allow us to be overcome.  He will do whatever is necessary to pull us through.  He loves us that much.  My confidence is in Him alone.  He can do it!  I have great hope - because my hope is in Him.  He is my joy.  He is my life. No matter what the enemy stands and accuses Him of, I will not believe it!  He is my God, and He is perfect in love.  Perfect. 
Praise is rising in my heart.  If I do not share it I might explode!  Praise is rising because the more desperate we are, the more able we see He is - the weaker we are, the stronger we will see Him be on our behalf.  Praise Him indeed!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Time keeps on tickin', tickin' away!

What?  

We are 1/4 done with 2011?  

Are you serious?   

Does anyone else feel like that?  
I am going to be intentional about slowing my life down!  

I will let you know when I find the exact recipe... but I think it has something to do with saying "no" more frequently and turning off all electrical devices every now and then.  I know - that seems CRAZY!  But, I mean it.  Something has to give!  So here is something I wrote in January.  It was a bucket list of sorts.  Not that I think I am necessarily not going to make it to 2012, but it is a combination of short term goals (like a new years resolution) and a bucket list (things I want to do (continually) before I die).  Already I am astonished at how little progress I have made - probably because I didn't keep this list handy before, but I am going to be more aware of the things that I want to do - really want to do this year (and continually)... 

Most people I talk to had a pretty rough 2010.  Not entirely.  There were weddings, births, birthdays, and Anniversary’s.  There were graduations and happy events.  But, there were funerals - people so young, deaths so tragic...  There were layoffs,  divorces and bankruptcies and simply difficult times making ends meet.  
January 1st seems to be a time of renewal - at least somewhat.  A new year doesn’t bring back those that we love who have passed on.  It doesn’t ease the pain of divorce, or other tragedies...  But, doesn’t it give us a new starting point?  I think it makes it easier to remember that yesterday is not all that there is.  Though, none of us know if we will have tomorrow or not, the thought of the future seems to be in the forefront of our minds.  Today we will make choices that next year at this time we will either be really happy about, or we will regret.   
In 2009,  I had the privilege of walking in the Breast Cancer 3 Day.  That is an entirely different story, but that is where I saw this shirt, that has continued to leave an impression in my mind.  

Black shirt, white writing...

“Life is Choices.”  

Simply stated and yet terribly difficult to really grasp the vastness of those three words.  Every choice we make is going to determine, at least in part, the course of our lives from that point on.  I believe that (thankfully) we are not fully able to determine the course of our lives.  I believe that God is in control of the whole Universe - and He can take things I do that are destined for ruin and turn them into things that actually have worth.  I am not asking for a theological debate, but I think everyone would agree that some things in life just don’t make sense - and no one is fully in control of what happens in their lives.  We cannot stop someone we love from dying.  We cannot force our employer to keep us employed.  We cannot control many things in our day to day.  But, there are things that we can control- and that is what I really want to focus on.  

I determine how often I yell at my kids.

I determine how often I do something nice for someone, expecting NOTHING in return.

I determine how many times I hit the reset on the alarm - making it ever more difficult to get out of bed.

I determine how often I use my words to make someone feel better - and give them hope.

I determine how often I choose to see the worst in someone.  

I determine how often I choose to see the best in someone.  

I determine how many times a day I respond with kindness instead of irritation or anger.

These choices, these little choices determine many things about how my year will go.  It reminds me of “It’s a Wonderful Life”.  What a great picture of how the choices we make always affect other people.  Our choices almost NEVER just affect us.  Think of a few things...  And then try to think of something you do every day that doesn’t affect anyone else.   I mean it, take a minute to think it over.

Hard isn’t it? 

Even something as simple as tipping the pizza delivery guy, or not.  That choice affects other people.  Sometimes we are privileged enough to see how our choices affect others in a positive way, and sometimes we are privileged enough to see how our choices affect others in a negative way.  Hopefully we will learn from those times and press forward.

That is my number one resolution this year.  These are the things for my year’s “bucket list”.  I want to have a new Bucket List often - checking off many things just because I can - and it will help me to push for the things that are more difficult to attain.  

My 2011 Bucket List:

  • I want to learn something every day.  I want to learn from my mistakes (and hopefully learn from others as well).  I want to learn how to affect my world in a gentler way, with kindness of speech and action.  
  • I want to read a book a month (at least)
  • I want to read a biography of someone with great faith (C.S. Lewis, or Hudson Taylor...)
  • I want to determine not to think the worst of people - but to cut more slack and be kind no matter what.  
  • I want to tell my husband something nice that I think of him every single day.
  • I want my kids to see a mom who is in control of her temper - even when the buttons are all pushed at the same time.  
  • I want to go to Colorado and sit under the stars out by the fire and sing a song.
  • I want to write a letter to my dad and my grandmothers and tell them how much I love them.
  • I want my husband to see a wife that is there for him - really there for him to hear him when he wants to talk - and when he doesn’t.  
  • I want my family to see my love for them - unconditional and strong - regardless of the foolish decisions they might make.  
  • I want to buy something really great - and then give it away to someone who needs it more.
  • I want to read my Bible every single day - not because I am expected to, but because I love the Lord and want to know more about Him.
  • I want to go to Kansas City to the International House of Prayer.
  • I want to go to an old Bed and Breakfast and sit on the porch early in the morning and read...
  • I want to bless someone through worship (singing) of my Savior.
  • I want to drive way too far - to stay way too short - to hug a friend and tell her she’s great.
  • I want to repair an old relationship and resolve to love better this time around.
  • And most importantly, I want to bless the Lord with all that is in me...  

I want to lose weight and eat better and exercise too - but I have found that those aren’t the most important things...

Whatever your list, your resolutions, your hopes for this year - I pray a blessing for you and your family.  Thanks for reading mine.