“If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth! For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.” Proverbs 30:32-33
So, in my life I have certainly played the fool. I am afraid that my biggest struggle is that of exalting myself. It is ugly to say - especially to share... but it is true. It has been often that I exalt myself in my mind (and to others). I love to be noticed. I love to be told how wonderful I am. I feel as if I deserve that in many ways. God has been revealing some pretty ugly things inside of me lately. I love that about Him. He wants me to be holy. He wants me to bring Him glory in all that I do. But, the more I exalt me the less I exalt Him. It is the nature of things. John the baptist had this wisdom. It is why he said, “I must become less... He must become more.” Yes. That is the key.
I have been thankless. I have been self-centered. I have thought more highly of myself than I ought. I have been unforgiving. I have been lazy. There it is - all out in ink now.
Whew. That feels good. It feels good to just know that I can say all of those things and God loves me just the same. His opinion of me isn't diminished. I want to become a woman who gives thanks for all things.
I am married to an amazing man. I am married to a man who is just and loving. I am married to a man that desires to be a “good and faithful servant”. I praise the Lord for that. He is a very handsome man. He is my hero. He is my love.
I have five beautiful children. FIVE! Wow! I am so blessed. Three amazing sons and two beautiful daughters. How great is the love that the Father has lavished on us!
I want to write. I want to sing. I want to live a life that is fragrant with Worship of the King. The Only One Worthy. He is my Everything. I want that to pour from me like a beautiful melody. Like a song that makes everyone feel good and joyful. I want to bring sunshine to every place I go. I want to put off the things that are weak and frail and pick up the things that are strong in the Lord! I want my heart to be moved by the things that move His heart.
That is all for now. Not all that is in my heart. Just all I have time to share :)
