As I sit here and meditate on all that He says and all that He has done, He has led me to these verses that capture the very essence of my heart over the last several months - or years... I am not even sure anymore. Time has all lumped together in my heart. There is everything that happened before yesterday... and then there is now...
This is the moment I am living in, so hear this... "Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.... But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools. I was silent; I would not open my mouth, for you are the one who has done this..." Psalm 39:4-9
Yes, my precious Savior - show me. My life is so fleeting. May it not be in vain!!! Let me bring you the praise that you deserve while I am here!!
Psalm 40:1-11 "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O Lord my God are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but my ears you have pierced burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require. Then, I said "Here I am, I have come - it is written about me in the scroll. I desire to do your will, O my God your law is within my heart. I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, as you know O Lord. I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly. Do not withold your mercy from me, O Lord, may your love and your truth always protect me. "
Yes! He has rescued me from the muck and the mire indeed! He has put a new song in my mouth. He has helped me to proclaim his Truth - I cannot seal my lips. I must speak of His faithfulness and salvation! Isn't His Word so amazing?
I am so in love with Him. I hope that you long to be in love with Him - He will give you that desire in your heart! Ask Him - it is according to His will that you would really want to be consumed by Him and with love for Him. Don't just sing about it on Sundays and think what neat lyrics they are! Be consumed. Allow Him to move you and say "yes, Lord - whatever you ask of me!" He is worthy! His so worthy!
I am asking Him to grow us - as a family in holiness and in love for Him. I know He will hear me and He will say yes to that! I know He will! It may be terribly uncomfortable. It may be really hard, but one thing I know - He is worthy.
I am reminded of a song that I love, it says, "What joy, what joy for those whose hope is in the Name of the Lord. What peace, what peace for those whose confidence is Him alone!" How true. Never should I in my life be more fearful, or more devastated by my surroundings. I lost my job - I lost my "good name" in the community. We owe more money than we know what to do with. We have no idea where it is coming from. We are working our hearts out and we have nothing to show for it. We don't even know how we will pay the electricity this month. All of this is just honest... but let me tell you this. I have great peace. I have no fear. I have never had more confidence that the Lord loves me than I do right now. Surely there are moments when I am thinking about it all and not looking at it from the right perspective. I am seeing my problems and not my God. But, here is the deal... I have a God that is greater and stronger.. a God that owns everything. A God that knew that we would be here and we would have no answer but Him. A God that knows exactly how this month, and this year will go. A God that loves us more than we could ever love ourselves. He is amazing. He will not leave us stranded. No matter what. He has a way. He will not allow us to be overcome. He will do whatever is necessary to pull us through. He loves us that much. My confidence is in Him alone. He can do it! I have great hope - because my hope is in Him. He is my joy. He is my life. No matter what the enemy stands and accuses Him of, I will not believe it! He is my God, and He is perfect in love. Perfect.
Praise is rising in my heart. If I do not share it I might explode! Praise is rising because the more desperate we are, the more able we see He is - the weaker we are, the stronger we will see Him be on our behalf. Praise Him indeed!
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