The Power of Prayer

Friends, I am asking for your prayers.  My Grandma is in a bad situation.  She knows Jesus and is ready to be with Him.  He spared her life for a specific reason because He is Sovereign.  I am asking you to join with me in prayer that His purposes will be clear, and His will prevails quickly so that she can be at peace. 
One of my very dear family members is struggling so much with the character of God.  She is aching and she is angry.  She has dealt with many hard things in her lifetime.  Life has never been kind to her.  All of a sudden the lies of the enemy sound truer than the Truth.  The feelings brought forth by the circumstances speak louder than the quiet whisper of the Spirit.  The Word is set aside and prayer has ceased because the enemy is winning in the battleground of her mind.  Would you please hold my sweet family member in your prayers?  Would you pray that God would reveal Himself to her in a deeply personal and healing way?  Would you pray that the lies of the enemy would be silenced by the Truth of God's Word?  And would you pray that she return to the Lord - for He is the only shelter she has.  Think of Job and his losses - and you will have a semi-accurate picture of the depth of her torment.  She is sinking - and I am enlisting you, because we belong to the same family - to lift her in prayer with me to the Healer of all things broken.  God knows just how to reveal Himself.  But, I am praying He will do it quickly. 

Thank you for joining with me in prayer.  Even now the prayers are rising as a sweet aroma to our God.  I love the picture He paints for us in the Word of our prayers.  He hears them, sometimes He smells them (I am looking up specific Scriptures tomorrow morning)... and He will answer them.

Much Love,
Christy

A facelift... for the blog!

Well, there isn't much to share, but I wanted to announce that the blog has undergone a massive facelift.  I hope you like it. 

I really think it is fun. 

And, I just want you to know I think it is hilarious if you thought I got a face lift.  Not sayin' there isn't work that could be done.  Just really funny to think about it.

By the way, check out my post on the October Baby movie (and by check it out, I mean scroll to the bottom and watch the trailer),  Order your tickets in advance - this is super important.  :)

Just wanted you to know I changed some things up - so you wouldn't wonder where you were if you came to visit.  I love it when you visit, I really do.  :)  

October Baby Movie

Tonight I went and saw the movie "October Baby".  It was powerful.  They asked me to give them three descriptive words of the show.
Mine were:
1. Powerful
2. Real
3. Revealing

It was different (in some ways) than I expected from the trailer.  But, it was better.  It made me thankful we chose open adoption for so many reasons.  It was painfully accurate about some really hard things.  It was beautiful and it was full of Truth.  It made me thankful for adoption agencies like Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach and New Life that promote awareness of open adoption and the "why" behind it.  It made me thankful for our birth-mother and her choices all over again.
This movie will be opposed by many.
It is way too full of Truth.
It is way to full of a really difficult reality.  But it is so beautifully handled.
It is potentially full of healing for so many who feel like they are beyond the reach of peace.  And so, it will be opposed.  But, I am begging you - even if it is just because you are curious - to pre-order tickets to see the show when it comes to our town of College Station.  You should also do that if you live in any other town where it is showing.  Buy your tickets in advance - and take as many people as you can to see the movie with you.  You won't regret it.

Our adoption agency had to agree to buy 1000 tickets in order to get the show to come to our theater. That means if 1000 tickets pre-sell, then they won't have to "eat" any costs.  If not, the Lord will provide because I believe that they did it on faith because the message is so necessary.  They want the Lord to be glorified and they want the Truth to be proclaimed.  If you want to contact me about getting a ticket in advance, I will be thrilled to get you one - or many.  Right now, the show will only be in College Station for the 23rd and the 24th.  Unless we show up big time, and show the people at the theater that we love a good movie with a good message.  The hard truth is, if it doesn't yield the dollars that something else will, they will oust it in a minute.  But, every ticket purchased is a ticket that might mean it stays a day longer.  Anyway, I highly recommend the show, the message and all the back story to anyone who wants to take a closer look at real life.  It was very well done.   

Now, I am going to spend some time processing all the things that are in my mind.  God is bigger than the biggest mess we are in.  He is Faithful when no one else is.  He is merciful beyond any measure.  I am smitten by His gracious love for me.   I hope when you go to bed tonight, you are smitten by His love for you as well.

Much Love  ~ Christy

Here is the link to the movie trailer:    http://www.octoberbabymovie.net/

A heart that aches...

I've been thinking about what a blessing it is to have a heart that aches.  

I know that seems weird to say.  But, really...  we ache because we love.  When our hearts are broken, it is because something inside us yearned for more;  More time with a loved one we lost, or  we want more for someone who is missing out on the abundant things in life.  We want more than the hard thing that we are walking through... more justice, more peace, more love, more hope, more encouragement, more trust.  God made us that way.  He made us with hearts that are fragile.   
 He made us with hearts that recognize that there is more.
There is more to this life than this life.  There is more to our existence than to live an breathe and walk on the earth.  There is much more.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "He has set eternity in the hearts of men."
and  2 Corinthians 5:2 says, "we long to be clothed with our heavenly bodies."  We know that there is more.  We know within ourselves that there is One who has given us the dreams, the love, the fragile hearts, and I am certain... absolutely CERTAIN that He is good and everything He does is good.

My parents were divorced at age 9.  Satan divided my parents, created a wedge and accused...  but this I know... God is good and everything He does is good.  It was not His will that they divorce.  He did not cause it.  But, He allowed it and He is still good.

I lost my mom to cancer when I was 17.  Her earthly body gave out under the strain of chemo and that ugly disease.  And this I KNOW - God is good, and everything He does is good.  It was not because He is sinister that He allowed her to be sick.  It is because He held ultimate healing for her - and He took her where she would never hurt, or cry or be lonely ever again.  He is good.

Last year we lost our business.  A business that we had poured our hearts into for 13 years.  I lost my good "reputation" among people who didn't really know me.  We lost our total income.  We gained a lot of debt - and a lot of suspicious on-lookers.  But God is good and everything He does is good.  He has provided in ways that blow my mind.  He has not let us carry anything that was heavier than we can bear.  He is good.

You see, when we are faced with the difficulties in life, the things that REALLY hurt, we are faced with two options.  We can believe God - and take Him at His Word.  Or we can believe the Devil.  We can believe that God never really had our best interest at heart.  Every trial, every struggle, every thing that has brought my heart pain has drawn me closer to the heart of God.  I believe Him.  I believe that He is good and everything He does is good.  I believe that He loves me with an unfailing love.  I believe Him that He will never leave me or forsake me.  And, I have seen the evidence of His hand in my life more than I have time to type.  He has held me in His hands from the day I was born.  Even on the days I wrestled hard to be free from His grip.  He is good, and everything He does is good.  I pray that tonight, in whatever situation you find yourself, you choose to believe that He is good and everything He does is good.  I pray that no matter what is happening around you, you will not give way to the fear and hopelesness that are present when Satan comes to make you doubt the truth of those words.  Those are not my words, they belong to a friend of mine, David - who went through an awful lot in his life too.  Psalm 119:68 says,  "God is good and everything He does is good."  I would stake my life on the truth of that verse.  He has never let me fall.  He has never left me alone.  He is good.

Laundry Follow-up...

Okay,

I am not taking much time here, because though I have a lot I could say, I am ready to get some quiet time in!!  So, here we go:

1.  I am definitely making the switch permanently (as long as we are doing laundry for more than 3 people)

2.  It is certainly going to save us hundreds of dollars a year.
3.  I have an HE machine - and there have been NO suds alerts - which means it is working well, and is not jeopardizing my machine's health. 
4.  I will increase the amount of soap I use in the next batch - because I want a little more fragrance.  The fragrance is very nice, and very light - and for people who's children have allergies, I think this would be something amazing to try.  But, I love fragrance.  So, I will be doing a bar and a half, not just a bar in my next 4.5 gallon batch. 
5.  My clothes smell clean - and they look clean.  I like that.
6.  I have put it to the real test.  The first load was peed on sheets and nightclothes.  Yuck.  I didn't even rinse them first, and they actually came out cleaner than they used to when I did rinse first, then wash with store-bought.  I was impressed.  I have a good sniffer, and I can't stand the "musty" smell on my clothes when the kids have had accidents.  There was NO musty smell, just a clean - ready to use smell.
7.  We then had an accident of unprecedented proportions.  I am not joking.  One of my children caught a tummy bug and had a different accident.  A full accident in the jeans.  All the way down the legs, there was not a spot untouched by the (horrible) smell and "deposit".  Three times during the rinsing I almost threw up.  (Just being honest here).  After fully hosing them out - I did the rinse cycle on the washer.  Let's face it - I'm not playing around with this.  I even added a touch of bleach to the rinse cycle so that it could kill the stuff....  Then, I washed like normal - and then I did the ultimate smell test on them before I put them in the dryer.  Wow.  I know they are clean.  They don't smell frilly - with a hint of yuck - they actually just smell clean. 

So, there it is.  My certain approval.  I will tweak the recipe (I had actually used more water and less soap than was stated in the original recipe).  Now, on to time with Jesus - and if I have time left over, I will put a new post up about what the Lord stirs in my heart.  See ya!

You won't believe this...

So, I decided to get all domestic.  Yep, that's right - give me a (frilly) apron and some applause!  :)

I made laundry detergent. 

We have 7 people in our family.  That means 7 bodies with laundry constantly running.  To operate our home, it takes about 2 loads a day - on a good day.  We're pretty serious about clean undergarments around here.  However, that makes for a lot of laundry, and therefore, a lot of detergent... and it's not getting any cheaper.  So, I'm gonna tell you how I did it, and then I will show you pictures... and then you can try it yourself.  I'm pretty excited about this. 

I usually buy laundry detergent for around $7 - very cheap from walmart.  I get around 100 loads for $7.  That's not horrible (compared to the $25 per 120 loads I used to spend on Tide.)  I still love the smell of Tide, but right now saving funds is more important for our family. 

This wasn't hard at all, and if I did my calculations right, we will have essentially 30 bottles of detergent for the price of 3.  I spent $28 (to have it shipped to my house) and I have already gotten 350 loads of laundry detergent out of it (which is 3 bottles of detergent).  The picture on the right is actually of the bottles I refilled with my homemade concoction.  I have used essentially 1/10 of the boxes of dry stuff... so I have good reason to believe that I will have paid less than $1 per 120 loads of laundry.  That is what I call saving money.  So here is the important stuff - the stuff you need to make it...

1/2 cup Borax  (20 mule team)

1 cup Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda

1 bar of soap (you pick - I got Lever 2000 with aloe)

a 5 gallon bucket

a 4qt. pan

4 cups boiling water

Essentially, you start 4 cups of water boiling in a 4 qt. pan.  Then, grate the soap like cheese (the finer the better - you will be melting it).

 

Once you have grated it, you put a handful at a time in the boiling water and stir.  Wait til that is melted and then add another handful until it is all gone.  You will have a soapy "soup" when it all melts.   

At this point, I turned off the flame and left the pot sitting for a second while I put about 2 gallons of water in the 5 gallon bucket and stirred in the borax and the arm and hammer washing soda.  I did it with hot water because I felt like it would mix better with hot water than cold??  I am happy with the results, so I recommend it.  Then, I added the soapy soup mix to the 5 gallon bucket.  I stirred the whole concoction for about 2 minutes to get it stirred up and added several more gallons of hot water.  I went ahead and "bottled" the soupy mix right away while it was all stirred up good.  I left enough room in each container to shake it before use.  Now, I wait 24 hours to see exactly what level of "slime" it will become.  I have heard sometimes it is slimy, and sometimes it is "lumpy".  It depends on several factors - that I don't care to understand (sorry for those of you who want those details.... google it.)  :)

I will shake my mix each time for the next several days before I use it.  I have also heard that you can create a "powder" mix from the same ingredients by shaving the soap and then leaving it to dry out - and then crushing it to a powder.  Mix it all together and then measure it out - I would have to do the math on this... essentially you would weigh it and divide by 350 to see how many tablespoons of powder to use.  Again, you can google it if you prefer powder.

I just think this is a great idea... and I am super hoping that my clothes smell better than ever.  I WILL let you know!   

A Holy Tension

photo credit to Carlos Gutierrez

Lately I have been manic-depressive, or in today’s terms - bi-polar. 

Truly, I have been tossed back and forth between the truth that I know in my mind about God and His plan and love and care of me - and this woman; fleshy - full of needs and wants and hopes- some rooted and grounded in truth and others rooted in this thing inside that says I deserve now to be loved as I will be in glory. 

It is a unique thing to know that the truth is the truth - and to know that I am being confused, but being completely unable to discern the depth, or the starting point of that thing that confuses me.  I think I am more confused now than when I went to type that.  : /

You see, I believe that I am already loved as deeply as I ever will be - the fullness of the love of God is already mine to hold.  He will never love me more than He does right now.  Because His love is perfect.  It doesn’t grow for me, because it is already the fullness of love itself.  It is a perfect - unchanging love.  It is in itself already whole and pure - there is NO MORE that I have to strive for, to earn, or yearn for.  The fullness is mine.  HOWEVER, I am mandating - in my own way - that human people love me the way that my God loves me.  I am mourning that I am not loved in the same fullness by the people of the earth as I am by my God.  I am wanting to hold this thing that is not mine to hold.  I am desiring to be filled by one who was not created to fill me.  It has caused me great pain, and I would like to think that the awareness of that fact is liberty - when truly the liberty is not in the knowing, but in the actions that flow from the knowledge.  Whew... My mind is reeling... Just reeling over this.

I am so prideful.  I have been so full of sin in my heart and the knowledge that that is true is in itself not liberty.  It is the response to that knowledge that holds freedom for me.  This quote is so simple, and yet so rich.  It seems like, a “duh” statement, but at the same time, truly comprehending the fullness eludes me.  Listen to it... (it is like God is saying), “I want you to do your part, but I don’t want you to exaggerate what your part produces.”  Staggering.  I produce nothing.  Not one thing.  I have been created for a purpose, and He will produce fruit from that which He has called me to, but it is His fruit.  The fruit is not from me, or of me, but being allowed to come through me by His hand.  I produce nothing.  I value what I have to say too much.  I expect others to want me to share it - to want to hear what I have to say...  and yet, He has given me a message that is to be shared - at all cost - because He has comforted me so that I can comfort others.  What in the world do you do with all that?  I am created for a purpose, but it is not my purpose that matters - or even my obedience - because in the grand scheme of things, He doesn’t need me.  He could use anyone or anything to bring about what He desires.  So, in one hand, He has given me a great gift on this earth - to have purpose, to be chosen, and on the other hand, He wants me to remember that it is His plan that will prevail.  It is His worth that matters - not my own.  I want to embrace humility, and yet, I cannot on my own even be humble.  YIKES.  I am a bit of a mess today.  That is certain. 

I am not sure if I am even making sense.  My knowledge tells me - it even demands that I repent before the Lord - declaring my perception of my self worth as an atrocity to His great Name.  It is.  It is absolutely ridiculous how highly I see myself.  And yet, He declares me worth the blood of His Son.  If I could get on my face and repent and mean it - I could be healed.  He could rend my heart and mend it back.  But I am going to be honest with you.  At this moment, my heart is not torn.  I am not nearly as unsettled as I need to be in this.  My discomfort has made me desire comfort in a way that I should be unnerved by.  And, in places, I am unnerved.  But, in places, I am still longing to be comforted - and surrendering to the idea that I deserve to be.  Oh Jesus help me.

I have much more in my heart - in my head, but for now...  I must shut it all down and run to the Word to see what jewels He has there.  What things He will tell me in the still and quiet moments that will rend my heart.  His Word is alive and living and able to pierce even the hardest of hearts - including mine. 

Emmanuel - let it be.  Emmanuel.  God be with me.  Rend my heart - until it is yours, fully yours.