Bathrobes and other such stuff...

Well, I thought that was a nice change from my normal "title".  And, it is legit.  

I went to a training last week for my new job (which I love!).  We met at a ranch in Chapell Hill.  It was beautiful!  The landscape was amazing.  The other admin was so sweet - and our Regional Trainer - well, she and I are kindred spirits.  I simply loved her.  I loved the whole thing.  I got so tickled when we got there and there was a lime green bag - a gift on my bed.

The anticipation grew.
I really wanted to look, but I wasn't sure if it was appropriate.
Turns out, I could have, but I waited just in case.

When it was a very appropriate time, I opened it up, and inside was a white bathrobe with the Younglife Logo - and our Region name embroidered on it.  Wow.  That was so cool.
It is the kind of robe that you want to steal from fancy hotels.  You know, the kind that make you want to act like a brat and order room service.  Yep.  It was mine, and just because the amazing people at Young Life wanted me to know that they appreciate me - and they value the work I do.  I still can't believe it.  I hadn't done a thing to earn that robe.  I didn't deserve that robe.  But, it was a gift.  And, I accepted it with deep gratitude in my heart.  So cool.

Now, when I wear it around the house, (which isn't often right now in this 100 degree weather), but when I do wear it...  I make my children refer to me as "Your Highness".  We all laugh, but deep inside I know it, I am royalty, and this was a really sweet way for the King of Kings to remind me that I am His daughter - and royalty indeed.

I love my soft robe, but more than that, I love the organization that made it, and the precious people who decided to give it to me, and even more than that... I love Jesus Christ - the One worth living for - at work, at home, and in all things.  What a gift.  The robe, the organization, the people, and the "job".  It is no longer necessary for me to fight for joy as I get ready for work.  It is easy to be filled with joy as I serve the Lord in this job.  This is such a precious gift after a very long time of striving to do my job with joy.  I wish everyone could love their job the way I do.  I really do.  I hope I never take for granted the way it feels to know I am right where God wants me to be (in this area, at least).  :)   

This is abundance.  This is what life is about.  Knowing Him, and making Him known.  Loving people well.  Reminding people that they are valued in the eyes of Him who created them and made them for His glory.  I am so thankful that Young Life wants to reach every kid with the good news of Jesus Christ.  What a sweet place this is to work.  I can't wait to become an old pro at the office stuff, so that I can serve more in the ministry of Young Life.   Coolest. Job. Ever!

God is faithful.  He will never fail us.  Never.  That doesn't mean things will be easy.  But, it does mean that we are not subject to our circumstances.  We can trust God's plans for us - they are always best, and He can take any situation and turn it for His glory, and our good.   

Let's get some perspective...

It goes without saying that I am not Jesus, or God.  (okay, okay, you can stop laughing now...)

It goes without saying that you aren't either.

Funny how this can be so complicated to remember sometimes.

It struck me (again) today that we humans have a tendency to find what works for us - what the Spirit is leading us individually to do, and put that off on other people.  Somehow, those who are not called to the same type things are just viewed as morbidly stuck without hope for abundance.  But, that really is not true.

Let me explain what I am talking about.  I will hit on two or three very common lines of thinking.  Beginning with the newest - and most widely spreading form of "better than".  Now, don't get me wrong.  I do not feel like any of these things I am going to address are wrong or right in and of themselves.  And, I am hoping not to even let on to what I personally do in any of these situations.  I want to be as unbiased as possible.  However, in all of this there is a danger.  A very wise woman said, "Comparison is the thief of joy."  I just absolutely believe that is true.  You can not and will not be a better someone else than they are.  You are meant to be YOU.  God made you the way He made you and He made you (wonderful) for a purpose.  YOUR purpose.  Not your friend's purpose, or the people you spend the most time with.  You specifically are to be You.  That is what He has called you to be.  And that, when lived to the fullest is BEAUTIFUL!  No matter what it looks like.

People who are likeminded usually end up conforming to be almost an exact replica of someone they esteem - which then becomes...  (deep breath)  idolatry.  Before you want to hang me, please read on because I believe there is freedom here that is being stolen from so many of us!  There is nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with people who are like you.  It is a beautiful thing to realize that although you are uniquely you - you are not terribly unlike many other people.  So, it is natural and good to join with those who think the same way as you for support and to encourage each other towards godliness.  However, when you decided that you are going to let that person be your Holy Spirit, you are losing something very precious.  You are losing the ability to hear the Lord for yourself, and live your life unto its fullest purpose.

Three distinct topics of discussion that consistently present themselves to me:
1.  Kids and church:  to attend "big church" with them or send them to sunday school (or children's worship)
2.  Homeschooling vs. Christian schools vs. public schools
3.  Breastfeeding vs. the bottle

Whew - that is certainly a list isn't it?  I can almost feel the glares as I tread these waters....  hang in there.  You can let me know what you think when it is all said and done.  (This is the beauty of a blog)  I get to speak my mind first, and then you can respond once I've already said (almost) all that I have to say about it.  :)

Church:  The two "sides":
1. Why doesn't everyone just take their children to church with them?  Parenting in the pew builds character and they need the message too.  I am a better parent if I take them with me instead of pushing them off on someone else to watch them.  I feel sad for the parents who won't embrace this part of their calling.  Just because we are at church, I don't stop being their main teacher of the Truths in Scripture.  This is my primary calling - to be the best wife and mother to my husband and children.
2.  Why would I EVER take my kids with me to church?  I finally get a "break".  Am I a selfish failure if I like the idea of Sunday school for my kids?  I can't hear the message that I desperately need if I am constantly correcting them and having to parent when there is a perfectly wonderful (and age appropriate) message meant just for them.  When I take them, I can't learn from the Lord what I need to do.  It is such a hinderance.  It makes me a worse parent, not a better parent to have them with me.

You want to know what I think?  There are two very important things to get to before I can tell you.
1.  What does God prompt you to do?
Are you doing one thing or another because you feel guilty and selfish for doing it one way or the other?  Are you being convicted about it, and just being resistant because you just don't like the idea of it?  The ONLY thing that matters is what is God saying to you?  What does your husband feel about this area?  Follow his leading.  God made him the head of your household for a reason.  Even if you completely disagree with him, your job is to follow him and trust that the Lord has bigger things to teach you in the process!  Every child is different - if you have more than one you already know this.  Every family is different.  Yours does not have to look exactly like what someone else thinks it should.  It should only matter what God thinks about it.  He will make it clear to you.  But guilt is not the same thing as conviction. In fact, they are extremely different things.  The only right thing to do is the thing that God says is right for your family.  No matter how strong the argument is that someone else is trying to convince you with.  It never says in the Bible, "Thou shalt send your children to Sunday School" or "Thou shalt take your children into big church with you".  Nope, this is not a matter of godly and ungodly.  This is a matter of learning from the Wisest teacher of all - the Holy Spirit.
2.  What is your motive?
This is not a fun question usually.  It typically uncovers something ugly.  Maybe you want to be seen as "more spiritual" as a family.  Maybe you want to be seen as someone who "doesn't make an idol" of your family.  Either way - pride can easily be at the root of this.  When you decide to judge others, or let others judge you based on the preferences you have in worship, you are giving way to pride - and that is neither pretty, nor holy.  I have heard this both ways.  "The Lord teaches me so much when I have my kids with me.  I am so selfish...."  and "I just need time with Jesus.  My family is not my idol.  I love them, but God gets first place with me, so my kids don't need to take from that time."  Both things can be said and it be good - and both things can be said and it is prideful.  It all comes down to motive.

So, it gets easier from here to know what I think about all of it... homeschooling, private school, public school.  Breastfeeding, bottles...  it is all up to God.  Even adoption.  This is another "hot topic".  You are not more godly if you adopt a child - necessarily.  You are not selfish to want biological children - necessarily.  Our family is not more holy because we had the deep desire to adopt in our hearts.  Our family is not less holy because we had four biological children first.  WHAT DOES GOD WANT FOR YOU?  This is the only thing that matters.  I think it is good for us to be prompted to think on these things.  It is good to think about all the children who are already born that need love and so much more.... but it isn't a rule then that every "good Christian" should adopt.  That is like saying not having children is a sin.  It can be.  But, it can also be what God calls you to- let Him be God for everyone else and just worry about what He says is His will for your family.  You can share the ways the Lord uses things to help others have a different perspective.  But, my perspective and your perspective are not God's.  For His ways are higher than my own, as are His thoughts.  That is the Truth of it all.  He alone will judge the hearts of men.
Last rant before I sign off on this topic...  if whatever you are doing is a constant struggle and you are not learning from the Lord.  Seek His face.  Ask Him to show you what is best.  If you are constantly under condemnation (this is not from God) and feeling guilty - then you need to remember that it is better to live for the One who created you and can destroy your soul than to live to please any man.  You may need to take some time to pray and read the Word and ask God what His will is for you.  And, of course, if you are married - the answer is simple.  Follow the lead of the one who was meant to lead you.  :)  For wives, that is the husband and (of course) Jesus.  For the husband - that is Jesus.    

Essentially, it all comes down to obedience.  Are you doing it because everyone else does, or are you doing it because God said to?  That is really all that matters.  Really.

Celebrate that God has made your family uniquely for Himself.  Set apart in your minds that He is the Lord of all - and surrender to that which He calls you to.  It will by far be the best option!

My unchanging God!

I am so excited about the season of life we are entering!  I love to look forward to the things that I know God has prepared for us.  Even the hard things.  That is harder to live moment by moment than to say, but it is DEEP within my heart that He has purposed only good things for my life.  That doesn't mean only good circumstances, it means, in His economy, the things that come from the hard stuff are far more glorious than the hard things would lead you to believe. 
God's character never changes. 

I love that about Him.  He remains the same.  Everything in life changes.  Everything but God. 
He is steadfast, firm, unfailing, never ending, and completely loving.  Even when He allows us to walk through something ugly.  Even then.  He is the same. 
It has been an interesting couple of weeks.  If you were with me, like right beside me right now.  I would use my hands to make an illustration.  So, imagine with me for a minute...
My left hand holds this part of my life right now that is hard.  It is filled with struggles (almost entirely financial) and hardships.  All things out of my control, and nothing "easy" lives in that hand.  I find myself constantly reminding myself that this too shall pass... this will not be the state of our lives forever.  This financial paralysis will not forever keep me from being able to bless others financially.  That seems to be the hardest part.  I love to give gifts to people.  I am selfish in that (honestly).  I love to give someone the money for a pedicure that couldn't have otherwise had that treat.  Of course, I find it even more wonderful when I am able to go with her!  But, it is actually painful to me to hear of needs and to know of people raising support that I cannot help because my hands are bound by the financial issues surrounding our lives.  Boo.  I mean it.  Boo.
My right hand... on the other hand :)  is filled with abundance.  I finished writing my book.  I am starting a new job Tuesday that I believe with all of my heart I was made for.  I am so excited to start working - it is everything in me not to go up there every day and bug the precious lady who is working now!  I can't wait!!!   In addition, I am deeply blessed with my husband, my children and other happy "life" things that I am watching God uncover every day.  One example of this is the way He has provided exactly the right place to take my kiddos for the few hours a week I will need care for them.  He is abundant.  It is a place where, the deep things in my heart that have been waiting for so long to be stirred are finally free to jump and dance and sing!  He is giving me the desires of my heart - that He placed there long ago.  I have been long meaning to look up the verse in 2 Corinthians 1 that talks to this exactly - so I am including it here. (NIV) ¹⁸ But as surely as God is faithful, our message to you is not “Yes” and “No.” ¹⁹For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me and Silas and Timothy—was not “Yes” and “No,” but in him it has always been “Yes.” ²⁰ For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 
This verse in and of itself is blessing me right now more than I can speak of (more on this later).  But, my right hand is literally full right now of the things that have long been "wait", and now is the time for the "yes"!  Praise Him for His precious timing!
However (now gesturing with both of my hands - lifting each up as I make my point) one overflowing with abundance, and one full of hardship, I would be the first to tell you that my God is the same God in both places.  He just chooses to manifest Himself differently in each one.  He - His character, His love and every other thing about Him is so unchanging - so very much the same in the places of hardship as He is in the places of abundance.  It is just that He cares more about the condition of our hearts than He does the condition of our wallets - and sometimes it takes the one to get to the other (sad we are in this flesh)!  He wants to teach us, and love us in those hard places because in those areas, we realize how deeply dependent we really are!  We never have control over things, and yet, often we are able to live under the illusion that we do.  But, anyone who has faced hardship at the hands of another knows the validity to this line of thinking.  No mother chooses for her child to get in a car wreck because someone else was texting, or drinking, or not paying attention.  We can train our children how not to do those things, but we have NO CONTROL over the actions of others.  Anyway, the important thing here is that there is great comfort in knowing that all of God's intentions towards me are holy and pure.  He seeks the good for us in areas that we didn't even know to be looking for it.  He is truly a gracious and merciful Father.  There is much peace in knowing that He delights in me as His child, and though His thoughts are higher than mine, and His ways higher and different than mine - He the Creator of the Universe - has it all laid out, and it is all good.
For God is good and everything He does is good.  Amen and Amen!

Blessed!

Blessed beyond measure.

That is the only way I can describe my life.

I have a wonderful, more-handsome-by-the-year husband.  Five beautiful, respectful (most of the time) and healthy children.

I have a job that I believe I was created for...  And a God who never quits on me.  I do not always follow Him - or heed His warnings.  But, I am always deeply loved.  I am always protected, and never forgotten.  How amazing is that?

We have a lot of hard things to face ahead as a family.  We are in over our heads in many areas in our lives.  We have a lot of things to figure out and a lot of things we wish we could wiggle our nose and make disappear.  HOWEVER, God is going to help us rearrange our lives to look like He desires because He is so concerned with our hearts and because He loves us perfectly.   Perfectly.  Without flaw.  Everything He does is good.  Everything He desires for us is good - and no matter what it looks like on the outside, that is the Truth from the depths and riches of the Word of God.

I adore this Savior who adored me first.  I am enthralled by His love and I yearn to spend more of my days telling Him how much He is worthy of my praise!

Life is never easy, but God’s grace is sufficient.  Today, find a few things to thank Him for - even if you have too look really hard at your life.  Make a small list and build on that.  Each day look for the thing that is His reminder to you that He is still there.  He is.  He sees you and He loves you, no matter what choices you have made.

Be blessed!

A Birthday of Blessings!

I woke up to a hand-made (sweet and of course, witty) card from my husband. 

I snuggled on the couch with my babies and ate breakfast.  :)

We met a friend at the movies for the incredible 50 cent Summer movie clubhouse!  (Loved seeing you Tiff - even though it was only for a bit!)

I was spoiled and treated to lunch by my beautiful friend, Mary.  Who also brought me my favorite coffee creamer, the beautiful flowers in the picture, and a new book!!!  I praise God because she knows me so well  - it was perfect - all of it.  My favorite part was getting to chat with her - I am always so blessed by her friendship and love.  Beautiful.

Another precious friend (Thanks Trish!) from our home group treated me to a massage!  Oh man, did I really need that.  It was simply delightful!

Then, my amazing personal chef (also known as my hubby, Ken) made me a steak dinner and his famous Cobb Salad - which is outstanding!  To top it off, he baked me a Red Velvet Cake and lit all 35 candles :) 
Then, I went to work out at BoomFIT with my sweet friend Debi (whom it has been entirely too long since we've hung out!).  I wanted to puke (after eating steak) - but it was really great and I felt good about it after the nausea wore off  :)

Countless friends called, emailed, texted and wrote on my FB wall - with birthday wishes.  So blessed. 

What a day!  My kids sang to me and loved on me all day.  I had sweet fellowship with friends and time to just relax (and pray and read). 

It was a perfect day!   I found myself being so grateful for my family and friends. 

I was especially blessed when my phone rang at 10:20pm!  My friend who lives in East Asia called me to wish me happy birthday.  We got to skype for over and hour and I just cried because of how good it was to see her face and hear her heart.  I have missed her so greatly over this past year!

I couldn't have designed a better day.  It was simply beautiful. 

I am so thankful for the gifts the Lord has given me in my friends.  I can't imagine not having a close group of people who I can share my dreams and my hurts and my heart with!   Each birthday wish, every sweet gesture and the time invested in my life from these precious people is priceless to me. 
What an amazing God to have planned my life before I was even created!  To think He knew every person I would come in contact with - each person that would enrich my life in some way or another...  wow.  What a good and gracious God! 

Today I am still just reveling in the goodness of God.  And, today, I got to enjoy coffee with a new dear friend, Dayna.  It was so exciting to hear how similar some of the desires in our hearts are.  Sweet!  Really sweet! 

I am so thankful for the hand of God in my life.  I am so thankful to be His child.  I am so thankful to have the friends that I have (every single one of you!) 

What a joy to hope in the Lord and have fellowship with others who are like-minded! My heart delights in the great things He is doing.  He is so worthy of my adoration.  He has surely done great things... and He will surely continue to do great things. 

Thinking outside the box...

I am not usually one to brag too much on my kiddos.  Let's face it... everybody thinks their kids are amazing. 

But, look at this picture.  Do you see a random assortment of junk?  Or do you see what he saw, mind you - before it was built? 
J-A-R-E-D. 
He built his name from a pile of garbage. 

I would have NEVER thought to do something like that.  I just don't "see" that way.  But, he sees everything through the lens of creativity. 
Read this:

The War in the Town
By: Jared

Oned day
A baby
Was being born
That day
There was
A war
The baby's mom
Risked
Her life
For the baby
And died

He is 8 years old.  He was told to write a poem - about whatever he thought of - leaving spaces between the lines.  Unbelievable. 
He dreams about moving to New York and putting his art in a museum.  If I am not mistaken... he is well on his way. 
What a cool kid.  Yep, he's mine.  :)

Dangerously Close...

Dangerously close...

Isn’t it something when we are so passionate about something that it makes us cry at the thought of it?  I have a few things like that stored deep in my heart.

I love to worship.  I love to write.  I love to read the Word.  Chances are if you and I were to sit and chat for any length of time about any of those subjects, tears would just spring to my eyes.  They are the deep things in my heart.

God made me that way.  He set those things up in my heart before I was born, to bring me life and abundance in Him.  The things that He desires for us - the abundant life - the promised land that is here and now - must be related to these deep things.  That is why I cry.  It is the unbelief (to some degree) that springs up.  It is the voice of the evil one who wants me to believe that those things are never going to come to pass.   I am just not good enough (well, certainly with the Holy Spirit I am not), or talented enough... Or so many other things.  It is why it is hard to share in groups of people - for fear of sounding foolish or prideful.

But, those of you who really know me, know that I am more and more about keeping it real, and less and less about keeping these things to myself.  God created me for a purpose.  He created me to unashamedly live for Him - in whatever way He chooses.

My book has 3 half-chapters left.  That is simply surreal.  First of all that I am actually so close to being finished.  Secondly, that I am a mere 5 to 6 hours away from needing to figure out about publishing.  And thirdly, that the cover (hand drawn by a dear friend) is perfectly perfect - and already drawn.   I think I always knew it would really be done, but I guess it has just been “Wait” for so long.

This week, I anticipate that my heart will be stirred up in many ways.  I have found some bitterness that lies within my heart.  That is a bummer.  I hate it when I think that I have dealt with something that I have not fully dealt with.  Yuck.  But, I am excited to say that God was gracious enough to shed His light on it, and I am going to choose to be willing to let Him heal my broken heart.  It will probably include being very transparent in an awkward situation, but that is okay.  God is worth it.  He is always worthy of anything I can do to bring Him glory.

Tonight, I want to encourage you to write down the deep things in your heart.  You don’t have to share them with anyone.  But, if you want to believe that God has stirred something within you for a purpose, you ought to tell someone you can trust.  You could even share it with me anonymously.  I love dreams.  God is truly the giver of our passions.  But, the enemy would love to keep us in the place that halts any progression towards the things God has set deep within.  Whatever that thing is that stirs your heart up for God - write it down and seek Him for what He wants from you in it right now.  Maybe it is time to pray.  Maybe it is time to share it with someone, or a close group of people.  If you have not read it, I highly encourage you to read “Waking the Dead”, by John Eldridge.  Talk about reminding us of the importance of seeking out the things of the heart!!  Whew - it is a great read and a good thing for those of us who are parched in this sun-scorched land.

Now, off to finish the book - or make a good run at it.  Sleep well, friends.  Dream big.  Leaving your hands wide open for the Lord to give and take away...