Hope Now...

So, the Lord has been capturing my heart again. What does that mean? I know – it sounds all mushy or spiritual… but really. He is capturing my heart. He is reminding me of the love that He has poured out on me. He is whispering to me in the darkness. He is telling me that I am lovely. He is telling me that I am His. He is reminding me what it is like when I cling to Him and Him alone. It is an amazing time. It is a time that I have longed for well, for years - literally. He is so faithful to pursue me. Even when I am throwing a temper-tantrum. Sometimes I feel like I am a little girl – pouting with a big lip out and crossing my arms. Sitting in a little huffy pile on the floor… He is the Daddy who scoops me up and lifts my chin with His big Daddy finger and smiles as if to say – “I love you even when you are upset with me. There is nothing you can do to turn my love away.” He just never quits. He never gives up on us. Praise Him for His generous love. Listen with your heart to the words of this song…
If everything comes down to love then just what am I afraid of.
When I call out your name - something inside awakes inside my soul…
How quickly I forget I’m yours
I am not my own, I’ve been carried by you all my life…
Everything rides on hope now, everything rides on faith somehow…
When the world has broken me down, your love sets me free.
And when my life is like a storm, rising waters - all I want is the shore
You say I’ll be okay and make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm,
And everything rides on hope now, everything rides on faith somehow
And when the world has broken me down, your love sets me free.
I am not my own, I have been carried by you all my life
You’ve become my hearts desire
And I will sing your praises higher
Cause your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

What a beautiful song, and picture of how we are not alone, and we are not our own. We belong to Him. He created us, but He also cares for us. He didn’t make us and then abandon us. He created us for His pleasure, and He does delight in us. In the book “Longing for You” by Debra-Louise Cossu, she writes that He loves us so much that even “All that has not been uttered from the very depths of your being resounds in His heart, and He listens carefully.” He listens carefully even to the things that never cross our lips. The things that we aren’t brave enough to ask for. He is the Giver of all good things. He knows our hearts – even when we don’t. What a Savior to love like that! He is daily saving me from myself! There is no time to live to please man. There is only time to live to please the Author of life… the Lover of our souls. Let Him capture your heart again too! Beg Him for it – He will come and He will steal your heart away! If you have never had a season of being captured by Him – ask for Him to come and pursue you. He already is. You just need to be aware of it. Ask for eyes to see, and ears to hear how He loves you. It isn’t selfish to want Him to fill you up. Because when you are full of His love and passion – you will become passionate about sharing it with others. And isn’t that the whole point of our existence? Didn’t we receive a ministry of reconciliation? Reconciling the lost and dying world to the Savior? If we do not get passionate about His love for us, we will only be clanging cymbals. We will be a noisy gong. The whole point of life is love. The entire point. That is it. Love God, and love others, and the only reason we can love in the first place is because He first loved us. Receive love, then return it and spill it out all over other people. That is it. Take time to refresh yourself in Him. If you have been running and spending all of your time and energy pouring out… take a little sabbatical and rest in Him. Let Him refuel you for the times ahead. He longs to hear your voice too. He desires that you spend time with Him. Not time that you check off of a list, but intimate time where you pour your heart out to Him – and then sit quietly while He shares His heart with you. Take time to sit with Him, you will never be sorry for it! Oh He is worth it!

Adoption Coming Closer...

Well, as is the nature of adoption... each month that goes by is one month that we are closer to holding our sweet baby in our arms! Exciting times are coming as I will have two little ones running around in diapers and babbling! We have FINALLY done it. We have finally gotten everything done so that our lifebook can be put into circulation. I thought months ago it would be out... but now, really as of next week, we will be "out there"... Alright to all of you who said we were already "out there" :) Please be praying for Maddy. I didn't realize that she still thought we were just waiting on a birthmom to choose us, and it fostered a lot of doubt in her. Now that we really will be showing our lifebook, I will continually talk with them all about what a birthmom has to go through during this choosing process - hopefully taking the anxiety off of them and replacing it with a prayerful heart for her. We have now been able to talk about the fact that our lifebook wasn't even being shown, and it did help, but I really want her to understand that even if it takes another 9 months to be chosen, God has all of the timing worked out... and He knows everything about our baby!

I am so excited that the time has really come! We are really all done getting paperwork filled out! I couldn't be more thrilled about it. I praise God for our adoption agency APO. They continually kept in contact with us - spurring us on, to get everything done. They are such a loving group of people. I love them truly. Praise God with me that we are almost there... ha! Almost ready to wait again :) I will keep you informed how it all goes, but rejoice with me that we are here!

Sisters...

Do you think you can find Jude's mom in this picture? Too funny!

Picasa Web Albums - Christy - Christy's sli... - let me feed y...

Hope for a Ho-hum heart...

I love the Bible. I know that seems a silly thing to say. But, really. The Bible is God's way of reminding us that the devil is a liar, and He is Truth. It is that simple. How can I not be encouraged as I stumble upon this scripture flipping through the pages of Hebrews....
"God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him...We want each of you to how this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.... because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf..."

I really am going to meditate on that a while... hope as an anchor. firm and secure. greatly encouraged... it all seems to be something I would love to lay hold of again. There is a small corner of my heart that still beats with hope. It is time to pursue that small place. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below.... Ah His Name IS Great and greatly to be praised!

Beautiful Father/Daughter Trip...

From Ken to me last night over email:

"So I'm trying to teach Maddy how to be lady like. To say the least I'm meeting a little resistance. The quote of the trip so far was a few minutes ago as we were leaving Ruth's Chris after a great meal. She of course was leading the way out. I tried to get around her in time to open the door for her, but she busted through it before I could get it. Afterwards I tried to explain that it was the man's job to open the door for her. She replied, "I like to open doors myself to show how powerful I am." Truer words were never spoken. Like mother, like daughter. Love ya, Me"

Oh wow! All I could say was that I have been praying for the generational sin to stop with me! What a precious girl. What a precious dad. What a blessed lady I am. I just thought this would make some of you smile (and others of you pray!)

Meditations...

I thought this was really powerful... "Though Jesus was never less than God - He lived on the earth for 33 years, as though He was never more than a man."
Wow. Not new, but just AMAZING. Really meditate on that for a minute. What that means for you and me... Man, I love Him. :)

Ho hum heart...

So, lately I have a ho hum heart. I think it is hardened. I think that there have been so many areas that I have shut down - unknowingly, and unintentionally... but shut down none the less. I get angry when people speak truth about things that God has promised in my life. It is unbelief really. And unbelief is sin... I am apathetic in some ways, and then the fact that that really bothers me means that I am not totally apathetic... which would be to not care at all. I am ready to awaken my heart again. I am ready to have God take me by the shoulders and shake me a little... and yet, even typing that makes me shudder... literally. He desires to be desired. He desires that we put Him first in our hearts... in our soft and willing hearts. Praise Him for His grace and His glory. He is full of compassion and mercy - and of course - unfailing love.

Things are rockin around here. We can't keep from being busy. We have had trips out of town almost every week, or family coming in... we have boxed up boxes in case we move... we have looked at land... and so many other things I can't list them all... including two birthday parties- sheeesh! I am tired thinking about it all...

So, anyways (I say that with my best Nacho Libre accent), Jude is almost 8 months old. Jake turned 11 today... Maddy just turned 8 last month and my Jared turned 6 the month before that! My kids are great! I have loved having them this summer... I am approaching the school year with mixed emotions. I am excited for them... and in ways for me... but I will be sad to send them back. I am certainly not "tired of them". Hopefully they aren't tired of me either. Ken is busy trying to catch up on the days he is here, and I am searching for a lady to help me clean... I can't tell you the difference it makes in EVERYTHING! Ken was wonderful to think of that for me for my birthday! What a gift!

Adoption things are still pending. We have three more papers to turn in essentially. I am hoping we will have all of that taken care of before the end of the month. Life is busy, and life is wonderful, and my heart is ho hum. Oh Lord, help. How is it that I have lost the fire in my heart? I know He will restore to me the joy of my salvation. I know He will move in ways I can't even imagine. I must have belief. I really must