Meditations...

I thought this was really powerful... "Though Jesus was never less than God - He lived on the earth for 33 years, as though He was never more than a man."
Wow. Not new, but just AMAZING. Really meditate on that for a minute. What that means for you and me... Man, I love Him. :)

Ho hum heart...

So, lately I have a ho hum heart. I think it is hardened. I think that there have been so many areas that I have shut down - unknowingly, and unintentionally... but shut down none the less. I get angry when people speak truth about things that God has promised in my life. It is unbelief really. And unbelief is sin... I am apathetic in some ways, and then the fact that that really bothers me means that I am not totally apathetic... which would be to not care at all. I am ready to awaken my heart again. I am ready to have God take me by the shoulders and shake me a little... and yet, even typing that makes me shudder... literally. He desires to be desired. He desires that we put Him first in our hearts... in our soft and willing hearts. Praise Him for His grace and His glory. He is full of compassion and mercy - and of course - unfailing love.

Things are rockin around here. We can't keep from being busy. We have had trips out of town almost every week, or family coming in... we have boxed up boxes in case we move... we have looked at land... and so many other things I can't list them all... including two birthday parties- sheeesh! I am tired thinking about it all...

So, anyways (I say that with my best Nacho Libre accent), Jude is almost 8 months old. Jake turned 11 today... Maddy just turned 8 last month and my Jared turned 6 the month before that! My kids are great! I have loved having them this summer... I am approaching the school year with mixed emotions. I am excited for them... and in ways for me... but I will be sad to send them back. I am certainly not "tired of them". Hopefully they aren't tired of me either. Ken is busy trying to catch up on the days he is here, and I am searching for a lady to help me clean... I can't tell you the difference it makes in EVERYTHING! Ken was wonderful to think of that for me for my birthday! What a gift!

Adoption things are still pending. We have three more papers to turn in essentially. I am hoping we will have all of that taken care of before the end of the month. Life is busy, and life is wonderful, and my heart is ho hum. Oh Lord, help. How is it that I have lost the fire in my heart? I know He will restore to me the joy of my salvation. I know He will move in ways I can't even imagine. I must have belief. I really must

IHOP

So, I went to IHOP – no, not to eat pancakes… the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri. I think for the first time in my life I sat still before the Lord. I didn’t ask Him for anything really. I didn’t hear Him speak to me – per se. But, the Lord was gracious to me. He taught me that sitting before Him and just loving Him and knowing that He loves me is enough - and it was BEAUTIFUL. I praise Him for that time. My children loved the time there as well. And I miss the coffee at “Higher Grounds” a lot! Yum… oh it was delicious! Ryan and Jenny Couch were my gracious hosts and they loved on my children and my children loved on them. That was also beautiful! We saw our friends Elizabeth and Charlton. It was a great time. It was a time I will never forget. Praise the Lord for stillness, quiet and the prayer room. He is a good and giving God.

Encouragement for my heart....

The Lord in His faithfulness had this in store for me last night… Just as I was wanting to give way to hopelessness. Just as my flesh cried out for me to just go to bed and think no more… the Lord in His mercy had a word for me. Oh that my heart would receive it. Oh that I wouldn’t doubt that He used someone in my life to write these words just for me. He is so faithful soooo good. If you are needing a special touch, just read these words… they are true for you too. You are the Beloved of Jesus if you know Him as your Savior. Thank you Jesus, for your servants who hear your voice and respond in obedience! Here are her words....

“I feel the heart of the Lord towards you and I just want to weep. So many of you have endured so much and you still love Jesus so much. You have not grown bitter. So many of you long to be near Him and no one else but Him sees how close you draw to Him in the secret when you are at work, at home, in the car, in your closet...and you keep drawing near when no one else is looking...He loves it. He sees it and His heart is moved. So many of you have been waiting and waiting for many different things. I have been waiting for several things my heart desires too, but how long I have been waiting pales in comparison to how long many of you have waited for desires and promises...and how long Jesus has been waiting to come back for His Bride, His desire, beats any of us...can someone tell me how He is so patient and how He deals with everything He must feel in the waiting?? Anyway, all that to say, I hear the Lord say, do not lose hope! He will indeed give what is good (Psalms 85:12). Let your hearts be strengthened in His goodness and faithfulness towards you. All you have walked through has not been in vain! Whatever you do, don't shut down your heart...it is our glory to feel. What else in all creation did God make that can feel what He feels? Stay steady! And in the waiting, we will get to know and experience the heart of the One we really are waiting for anyway. “

Thank you sweet friend for being used of the Lord to breathe encouragement to my heart!

Book blurb #2

It seems to me that we should be the most thankful for the top 5 most difficult people in our lives. If you will consider with me for a moment, I believe one of the quickest routes to holiness is through pain and rejection. How can we really fear God alone and not man if we always please men in the things that we do for God? Rejection by men, and especially men that we respect and love, will cause us to determine who we live to please. If we always are taken care of and put first, how will we ever get a chance to walk out true humility? If we say we love people, and we don’t have any difficult people in our lives to love, then how do we really know? It is the people who falsely accuse us that show us that the truth about our hearts belongs to God alone. It is the selfish and hateful people who teach us how to turn to the Lord to fulfill our deepest needs – and truly find the beginnings of the depth of His love for us.
The more we are rejected by fellow man, the more we must turn to the Lord to find our worth, and how deeply we are loved by Him. And there is no love that can match His love for us. How great is the Father’s love that He has lavished on us! It is important that we are being rejected because we are choosing God and not because we are being rebellious to the authority God has placed in our lives. God puts people in our lives for a purpose. The refining that is done to our hearts by relationships with difficult people is a blessing from the Lord. Even people who aren’t traditionally “difficult” will be used when necessary to bring about holiness in your life. It is time that we realize that we are difficult people too.
Until we know how to look past our needs, our rights and our feelings, we will not love as He loves. We will only love ourselves. We cannot on our own be perfect as our Father is. He loves us perfectly. Jesus wants us to understand that the bar has been raised. It is a standard unable to be met on our own. We must have the help of the Holy Spirit and we must keep our eyes on His cross. Oh, Lord help us to be perfect as you are perfect. There is no other way to read that. He wasn’t saying try to be perfect. He wasn’t saying, “try not to mess up too much”. He said be perfect.

Webster defines perfect as being entirely without fault or defect – flawless. Are you striving to be flawless for God? Romans 12:11 says, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” Let’s be zealous for the Lord – and less zealous for our own rights.

Our Lifebook is turned in!

Yeah!!! I turned our lifebook in on June 30! So, now we wait... we wait on the Lord's sovereign timing. We pray for our birth-mom and our baby. We pray that the Lord will keep us in His mercy while we wait on Him. I want it to be true that He renews our strength as we wait on His hand in this. I am still so excited to see what He has in store. I am still fighting for this excitement, as I know the enemy would love to steal it away. But, I LOVE that God's Word is true, and even as we wait - we can rest.

We just got home from Sea World and the kids loved it. I am ready to settle into some kind of summer routine, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen anytime soon. The picture is from the front entrance at Sea World... aren't my children just beautiful!!! We are blessed indeed!

A little blurb about a book...

So, I've been writing a book...? a Bible study? a lot of words on a page? I am not sure what to call it. But, I have been working on it a while. I just started writing, and it has blessed me to remember the lessons the Lord is teaching me about how strong my flesh is, and how opposed it is to His Kingdom. So, I am going to randomly choose a blurb from my writings, and post it. I am praying that the Lord will use it to be an encouragement to someone... anyone really. If nothing else, it has encouraged me to remember His faithfulness. What a full-of-grace God we have. So here goes...
We believe the wrong things about ourselves.
I never knew all of the places God would take me in my life. I didn’t understand that my free will was given to me so that I could choose freedom, but had the power to keep me in bondage all of my years. It was unimaginable to me that God had a purpose for the things that He allowed to happen to me – or should I say, around me? I didn’t know that His purpose for my life was not necessarily my happiness, but His holiness. Can you imagine? Every hard thing was allowed by His hand, of course every good thing, but every hard thing too. The day I clung to my father’s leg as he walked away from me, my mom and my sister – He allowed it. The day my mom died – my coach, my cheerleader, my friend – she was my whole world. He allowed that too. By His hand I faced the hardest times of my life. And by His hand I found the most precious gift in the world. In the midst of life’s hardships, in the midst of my secret shame, the lowest part of my life, I discovered the reality of His love. His unfailing, never-ending, all-healing, unforgettable love. He meant it for me. As if that was just for me, He made it personal...

So, that's the blurb for the week... maybe I'll write more later... :)